The Vision (1)

Much of what has happened since my arrival at Daybreak is written down in diaries and notebooks, but, as it stands, little of it is fit to share with others. The words are too raw, too noisy, too “bloody,” and too naked. But now a time has come when it is possible to look back on those years of turmoil and to describe, with more objectivity than was possible before, the place to which all of that struggle has brought me. I am still not free enough to let myself be held completely in the safe embrace of the Father. In many ways I am still moving toward the center. I am still like the prodigal: traveling, preparing speeches, anticipating how it will be when I finally reach my Father’s house. But, I am, indeed, on my way home. I have left the distant country and come to feel the nearness of love. And so, I am ready now to share my story. There is some hope, some light, some consolation to be found in it. Much of what I have lived in the past few years will be part of this story, not as expression of confusion or despair, but as moments in my journey toward the light.
Rembrandt’s painting has remained very close to me throughout this time. I have moved it around many times: from my office to the chapel, from chapel to the living room of the Dayspring (the house of prayer at Daybreak), and from the living room of Dayspring back to the chapel. I have spoken about it many times inside and outside of the Daybreak community: to handicapped people and their assistants, to ministers and priests, and to men and women from diverse walks of life. The more I spoke of the Prodigal Son, the more I came to see it as, somehow, my personal painting, the painting that contained not only the heart of the story that God wants to tell me, but also the heart of the story that I want to tell to God and God’s people. All of the Gospel is there. All of my life is there. All of the lives of my friends is there. The painting has become a mysterious window through which I can step into the Kingdom of God. It is like a huge gate that allows me to move to the other side of existence and look from there back into the odd assortment of people and events that make up my daily life.


注釈:
Much of what has happened since my arrival at Daybreak is written down in diaries and notebooks, but, as it stands, little of it is fit to share with others.
「as it stands」は「現状では、現状のままで、そのままで」。ここでは「そのままでは」。

The words are too raw, too noisy, too “bloody,” and too naked.
「raw」は「加工していない⇒未編集の」。「noisy」は「(言葉が)ノイズを伴う⇒言葉が乱れている」。「naked」は「(言葉が)裸の⇒ありのままの」。「“bloody”」はコーテーションが付いており作者が「特別の意味で使っていますよ」というメッセージを伝えて来ています。この前の「but, as it stands, little of it is fit to share with others.」を「The words are too raw, too noisy, too “bloody,” and too naked.」で補強している訳です。要するに「日記やノートに書いてあるままではとても他人と分かち合うことができない代物」ということです。ここでは「血なまぐさい」と訳しておきます。作者の心の葛藤の部分が頭にあるものと思います。

But now a time has come when it is possible to look back on those years of turmoil and to describe, with more objectivity than was possible before, the place to which all of that struggle has brought me.
「turmoil」はここでは「混乱(confusion)」。「struggle」は「もがき、あがき(endeavour)」。

I am still not free enough to let myself be held completely in the safe embrace of the Father. In many ways I am still moving toward the center. I am still like the prodigal: traveling, preparing speeches, anticipating how it will be when I finally reach my Father’s house. But, I am, indeed, on my way home. I have left the distant country and come to feel the nearness of love. And so, I am ready now to share my story. There is some hope, some light, some consolation to be found in it.

Much of what I have lived in the past few years will be part of this story, not as expression of confusion or despair, but as moments in my journey toward the light.
「despair」は「絶望(hopelessness)」

Rembrandt’s painting has remained very close to me throughout this time. I have moved it around many times: from my office to the chapel, from chapel to the living room of the Dayspring (the house of prayer at Daybreak), and from the living room of Dayspring back to the chapel.

I have spoken about it many times inside and outside of the Daybreak community: to handicapped people and their assistants, to ministers and priests, and to men and women from diverse walks of life.
「minister」はここでは「牧師(プロテスタント)」。「priest」は「司祭、神父(カトリック)」。使い分けています。「diverse」はここでは「種々の(various)」。

The more I spoke of the Prodigal Son, the more I came to see it as, somehow, my personal painting, the painting that contained not only the heart of the story that God wants to tell me, but also the heart of the story that I want to tell to God and God’s people.

All of the Gospel is there.
「the Gospel」は大文字で始まっていますので「福音書(新約聖書の最初の4書=マタイによる福音書、マルコによる福音書、ルカによる福音書、ヨハネによる福音書)」の意。

All of my life is there. All of the lives of my friends is there. The painting has become a mysterious window through which I can step into the Kingdom of God.

It is like a huge gate that allows me to move to the other side of existence and look from there back into the odd assortment of people and events that make up my daily life.
「assortment」はここでは「各種(mixture)」。