夫 が死んで8年。Francescaは67歳の誕生日を迎えました。昔からのド田舎の家に今も1人で住んでいます。毎年の儀式になったRobert Kincaidから来た手紙を読み返したところです。そして彼とのことを思い出しています。

彼との思い出:
Francesca JohnsonとRobert Kincaidは出会ってから2日目の夜(火曜日)に恋に落ちました。Francescaの家族は金曜日まで戻って来ません。2人は精神的にも肉体的にも完全に結ばれます。それからは2人だけの時間を持ち続けます。そして、今後どうするかを話し合います。

The Highway and the Peregrine (5)

As much as I want you and want to be with you and part of you, I can’t tear myself away from the realness of my responsibilities. If you force me, physically or mentally, to go with you, as I said earlier, I cannot fight that. I don’t have the strength, given my feelings for you. In spite of what I said about not taking the road away from you, I’d go because of my own selfish wanting of you.
“But please don’t make me. Don’t make me give this up, my responsibilities. I cannot do that and live with the thought of it. If I did leave now, those thoughts would turn me into something other than the woman you have come to love.”
Robert Kincaid was silent. He knew what she was saying about the road and responsibilities and how the guilt could transform her. He knew she was right, in a way. Looking out the window, he fought within himself, fought to understand her feelings. She began to cry.
Then they held each other for a long time. And he whispered to her, “I have one thing to say, one thing only, I’ll never say it another time, to anyone, and I ask you to remember it. In a universe of ambiguity, this kind of certainty comes only once, and never again, no matter how many lifetimes you live.”
They made love again that night. Thursday night, lying together until well after sunrise, touching and whispering. Francesca slept a little then, and when she awoke, the sun was high and already hot. She heard one of Harry’s doors creaking and threw on some clothes.


解説:

As much as I want you and want to be with you and part of you, I can’t tear myself away from the realness of my responsibilities.
■as much as …:ここでは「(とても)・・・だけど」の意。

If you force me, physically or mentally, to go with you, as I said earlier, I cannot fight that. I don’t have the strength, given my feelings for you.
■given+名詞:名詞が与えられると

In spite of what I said about not taking the road away from you, I’d go because of my own selfish wanting of you.
■in spite of what …:・・・に拘わらず

“But please don’t make me. Don’t make me give this up, my responsibilities. I cannot do that and live with the thought of it. If I did leave now, those thoughts would turn me into something other than the woman you have come to love.”
Robert Kincaid was silent. He knew what she was saying about the road and responsibilities and how the guilt(罪悪感) could transform her. He knew she was right, in a way. Looking out the window, he fought within himself, fought to understand her feelings. She began to cry.
Then they held each other for a long time. And he whispered to her, “I have one thing to say, one thing only, I’ll never say it another time, to anyone, and I ask you to remember it. In a universe of ambiguity(不確かさ), this kind of certainty(確かさ) comes only once, and never again, no matter how many lifetimes you live.”
They made love again that night. Thursday night, lying together until well after sunrise, touching and whispering. Francesca slept a little then, and when she awoke, the sun was high and already hot.

She heard one of Harry’s doors creaking and threw on some clothes.
■Harry:Robert Kincaidのピックアップトラックの名前
■throw on:さっと着る