THE LIVING PAINTING (4)
And still, after a long life as son, I know for sure that the true call is to become a father who only blesses in endless compassion, asking no questions, always giving and forgiving, never expecting anything in return. In a community, all this is often disturbingly concrete. I want to know what is happening. I want to be involved in the daily ups and downs of people's lives. I want to be remembered, invited, and informed. But the fact is that few recognize my desire and those who do are not sure how to respond to it. My people, whether handicapped or not, are not looking for another peer, another playmate, nor even for another brother. They seek a father who can bless and forgive without needing them in the way they need him. I see clearly the truth of my vocation to be a father; at the same time it seems to me almost impossible to follow it. I don't want to stay home while everyone goes out, whether driven by their many desires or their many angers. I feel these same impulses and want to run around like others do! But who is going to be home when they return - tired, exhausted, excited, disappointed, guilty, or ashamed? Who is going to convince them that, after all is said and done, there is a safe place to return to and receive an embrace? If it is not I, who is it going to be? The joy of fatherhood is vastly different from the pleasure of the wayward children. It is a joy beyond rejection and loneliness; yes, even beyond affirmation and community. It is the joy of a fatherhood that takes its name from the heavenly Father and partakes in his divine solitude.
It does not surprise me at all that few people claim fatherhood for themselves. The pains are too obvious, the joys too hidden. And still, by not claiming it I shirk my responsibility as a spiritually adult person. Yes, I even betray my vocation. Nothing less than that! But how can I choose what seems so contrary to all my needs? A voice says to me, "Don't be afraid. The Child will take you by the hand and lead you to fatherhood." I know that voice can be trusted. As always, the poor, the weak, the marginal, the rejected, the forgotten, the least . . . they not only need me to be their father, but also show me how to be a father for them. True fatherhood is sharing the poverty of God's non-demanding love. I am afraid to enter into that poverty, but those who have already entered it through their physical or mental disabilities will be my teachers.
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And still, after a long life as son, I know for sure that the true call is to become a father who only blesses in endless compassion, asking no questions, always giving and forgiving, never expecting anything in return.
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In a community, all this is often disturbingly concrete.
¡Öcommunity¡×¤Ï¤³¤³¤Ç¤Ï¡Ö¡Ê¤¢¤ë¶¦Ä̤ÎÌÜŪ¤ò»ý¤Ã¤Æ¶¦¤ËÀ¸³è¤ò¤¹¤ë¡Ë¶¦Æ±ÂΡס£¡Ödisturbingly¡×¤Ï¡Ö¿´¤ò¤«¤Í𤹤ۤɡס£¡Öconcrete¡×¤Ï¤³¤³¤Ç¤Ï¡Ö¼ÂºÝ¤Î¡¢¸½¼Â¤Î¡Êdefinite, real¡Ë¡×¡£
I want to know what is happening. I want to be involved in the daily ups and downs of people's lives.
¡Öups and downs¡×¤Ï¤³¤³¤Ç¤Ï¡Öµ¯Éú¡×¡£
I want to be remembered, invited, and informed. But the fact is that few recognize my desire and those who do are not sure how to respond to it. My people, whether handicapped or not, are not looking for another peer, another playmate, nor even for another brother. They seek a father who can bless and forgive without needing them in the way they need him.
I see clearly the truth of my vocation to be a father; at the same time it seems to me almost impossible to follow it.
¡Övocation¡×¤Î¸ì¸»¤Ï¡Ø¡Övoc-¡Ê¶«¤Ö¡Ë¡×¡Ü¡Ö-ation¡Ê·ë²Ì¤È¤·¤ÆÀ¸¤¸¤¿¤â¤Î¡Ë¢Í¿À¤«¤é¤Î¤³¤ì¤³¤ì¤·¤Ê¤µ¤¤¤È¤¤¤¦¤ª¸Æ¤Ó¡Ù¤Ç¸½ºß¤Ç¤Ï¡Ö¾¤Ì¿¡×¡ÖÅ·¿¦¡×¡Ö¿¦¶È¡×¤Î°Õ¤Ç»È¤ï¤ì¤Æ¤¤¤Þ¤¹¡£ÆüËܸì¤Î¡Ö¿¦¶È¡×¤Ë°ìÈֶᤤ¸ì¤Ï¡Öoccupation¡×¡£
I don't want to stay home while everyone goes out, whether driven by their many desires or their many angers.
I feel these same impulses and want to run around like others do!
¡Öimpulse¡×¤Ï¡Ö¾×ư¡Êurge, instinct, drive, compulsion, itch, whim, desire, fancy, notion¡Ë¡×¡£
But who is going to be home when they return - tired, exhausted, excited, disappointed, guilty, or ashamed? Who is going to convince them that, after all is said and done, there is a safe place to return to and receive an embrace? If it is not I, who is it going to be?
The joy of fatherhood is vastly different from the pleasure of the wayward children.
¡Öwayward¡×¤Ï¡Öawayward¡×¤Î¡ÖƬ²»¡×¤¬¾Ã¼º¤·¤¿¤â¤Î¡£¡Ø¡Öaway¡Ê¸þ¤³¤¦¤Ø¡Ë¡×¡Ü¡Ö-ward¡Ê¡Ö¡¦¡¦¡¦¤ÎÊý¸þ¤Ë¡×¤Î°Õ¤Î·ÁÍÆ»ì¡¦Éû»ì¤òºî¤ê¤Þ¤¹¢Íbackward, eastward¡Ë¡Ù¤¬¸ì¸»¤Ç¡Ödifficult to control¡×¤Î°Õ¤Ë¤Ê¤ê¤Þ¤¹¡£¤³¤³¤Ç¤Ï¡Ö¤ï¤¬¤Þ¤Þ¤Ê¡×¤¬ºÇŬ¤À¤È»×¤¤¤Þ¤¹¡£
It is a joy beyond rejection and loneliness; yes, even beyond affirmation and community.
¡Öaffirmation¡×¤Ï¤³¤³¤Ç¤Ï¡Ö»¿Æ±¡¢»Ù»ý¡×¡£¡Öcommunity¡×¤Ï¤³¤³¤Ç¤Ï¡Ö°ìÃספ¬Å¬Åö¤È¹Í¤¨¤Þ¤¹¡£¡Örejection¡×¤È¤«¡Öloneliness¡×¤ò±Û¤¨¤¿¤È¤³¤í¤Ë¤Ï¡Öjoy¡×¤¬¤¢¤ë¤Î¤Ï¡¢¤¢¤ë°ÕÌ£¤ÇÅö¤¿¤êÁ°¤Ç¤¹¤¬¡¢¡Ö»¿Æ±¡¢»Ù»ý¡×¡Ö°ìÃספ¬¤¢¤ë¤È¤³¤í¤Ç¤ÏÌÞÏÀ¡Ö¤³¤ÎÀ¤¤Îjoy¡×¤Ï¤¢¤ê¤Þ¤¹¤¬¡¢¤½¤ì¤ò¤â±Û¤¨¤¿¡Öjoy¡×¤Ç¤¢¤ë¡¢¤È¤¤¤¦¤³¤È¤òÅÁ¤¨¤¿¤¤¤Î¤À¤È²ò¼á¤·¤Þ¤·¤¿¡£
It is the joy of a fatherhood that takes its name from the heavenly Father and partakes in his divine solitude.
¤³¤ÎÉôʬ¤Ï¡Ö¥¨¥Õ¥§¥½¤Î¿®ÅÌ¤Ø¤Î¼ê»æ£³¡§£±£µ¡×¤«¤é¤Î°úÍÑ¡£¡Ö¸æÉ㤫¤é¡¢Å·¤ÈÃϤˤ¢¤ë¤¹¤Ù¤Æ¤Î²È²¤¬¤½¤Î̾¤òÍ¿¤¨¤é¤ì¤Æ¤¤¤Þ¤¹¡×¡£¡Öfatherhood¡×¤Î¡Öfather¡×¤Ï¡Öthe heavenly Father¡×¤ËͳÍ褹¤ë¡¢¤È¤¤¤¦¤³¤È¤Ç¤¹¡£¡Öpartake in ¡Ä¡×¤Ï¤³¤³¤Ç¤Ï¡Ö¡¦¡¦¡¦¤ò¶¦Í¤¹¤ë¡×¡£¡Ösolitude¡×¤Ï¡Ö¸ÉÆÈ¡×¡£
It does not surprise me at all that few people claim fatherhood for themselves. The pains are too obvious, the joys too hidden.
And still, by not claiming it I shirk my responsibility as a spiritually adult person.
¡Öshirk¡×¤Ï¡Ö¤ò²óÈò¤¹¤ë¡Êevade, avoid¡Ë¡×¡£
Yes, I even betray my vocation.
¤³¤ì¤Ï¡ÖYes, by not claiming it I even betray my vocation.¡×¤È¤¤¤¦¤Ä¤Ê¤¬¤ê¤Ç¤¹¡£¡Öbetray¡×¤Ï¡Ö¤ò΢ÀÚ¤ë¡Êbe disloyal to, be unfaithful to¡Ë¡×¡£
Nothing less than that!
¡Ö¤½¤ì°Ê³°¤Î²¿¤â¤Î¤Ç¤â¤Ê¤¤¡×¡£
But how can I choose what seems so contrary to all my needs?
A voice says to me, "Don't be afraid. The Child will take you by the hand and lead you to fatherhood."
¡Öthe Child¡×¤Ï¡Ö¸æ»Ò¥¤¥¨¥¹¡×¤Î¤³¤È¡£
I know that voice can be trusted. As always, the poor, the weak, the marginal, the rejected, the forgotten, the least . . . they not only need me to be their father, but also show me how to be a father for them.
True fatherhood is sharing the poverty of God's non-demanding love.
¡Öthe poverty of God's non-demanding love¡×¤Îʸ»úÄ̤ê¤Î°ÕÌ£¤Ï¡Ö²¿¤´¤È¤âÍ׵ᤷ¤Ê¤¤¿À¤Î°¦¤ÎÉϤ·¤µ¡×¤È¤Ê¤ê¤Þ¤¹¤¬¡¢¤³¤ì¤Ç¤Ïʬ¤«¤Ã¤¿¤è¤¦¤Êʬ¤«¤é¤Ê¤¤°ÕÌ£¤Ë¤Ê¤Ã¤Æ¤·¤Þ¤¤¤Þ¤¹¡£¡ÖÀ¶ÉϡפȤ¹¤ì¤Ð¾¯¤·¤Ï¥Ë¥å¥¢¥ó¥¹¤¬½Ð¤ë¤«¤âÃΤì¤Þ¤»¤ó¡£
I am afraid to enter into that poverty, but those who have already entered it through their physical or mental disabilities will be my teachers.
¡Öthose who have already entered it through their physical or mental disabilities¡×¤Ï¡Ö¥é¥ë¥·¥§¡¦¥³¥ß¥å¥Ë¥Æ¥¤¤ÇÆùÂÎŪ¡¢Àº¿ÀŪ¥Ï¥ó¥Ç¥¥ã¥Ã¥×¤ò»ý¤Á¤Ê¤¬¤éÀ¸³è¤·¤Æ¤¤¤ë¿Í¡¹¡×¤ò»Ø¤·¤Æ¤¤¤Þ¤¹¡£